Poor cupid has shot himself in the heart
Today is the un-Valentines Day for me, otherwise known as Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D), or in my husband’s mind, ‘Just a regular day to nap with Space Channel in the background’.
According to UrbanDictionary.com:
February 14th: the day that every single man realizes “Damn, I forgot to get a girlfriend.” Usually the wiser of the men realize this days ahead based on the many pink and red hearts and fluffy overpriced things found as they go to purchase their beer, or perhaps whilst sitting on the couch enjoying the rerun of ‘Independence Day’ realizing that every other television advertisement contains the word ‘love’ or a suggestion to the holiday most refer to as “Valentine’s day.
How Valentines Day (S.A.D.) plays out in my house:
Weeks before…
Me: so, dear, love of my life, soulmate, heart-of-my-hearts, what are you getting me for Valentine’s Day?
Him: (grunt) Huh? Nothing. Why?
Me: No reason
Days Before….
Me: So, husband-of-19 years, changer of lightbulbs, putter inner of windshield washer fluid, long-suffering designated driver, what are we doing for Valentine’s Day?
Him: (grunt) Huh? Nothing. Why?
Me: no reason.
The day before Valentine’s Day.
Me: so, sperm donor, do I at least get a card and chocolate, maybe some flowers?
Him: (looks up from a Motorcycle magazine aka man-porn) If I get you chocolates you’ll complain for weeks that you shouldn’t have eaten them and then you’ll be mad at me.
Me: True. What about the other two?
Him: If I get you flowers, they’ll die. They’re a waste of money.
Me: Not true, faulty argument. But go on.
Him: If I buy you a card, all I’ll write in it is ‘Love Jack’ and then you’ll complain I’m not sensitive enough and don’t share my feelings.
Me: (thinking) Well, that is partially true, although I do usually give you props for trying. Even when you buy me cards that reference my bosoms, include language like ‘Humena Humena’ and have pictures of monkeys winking lasciviously, I truly appreciate the effort. Really, the only time I actually complained was when you got me a card from the Dollar Store with a Teddy bear holding balloons on it and reading, ‘To my friend on Valentines Day.’ You did not get any points for that one.
Him: I told you, I didn’t have my glasses. It looked cute all blurry. At least I got you a card…
Me: (Rolling my eyes) Remember the days when you’d meet me at the airport with a huge bouquet of flowers? And the time you got me diamond earrings for Valentines Day? And also when I was at work and you sent a cookie-gram, flowers, and balloons?
Him: (grimacing, and probably remembering what a sucker he was in the courting phase) I think so. (of course he’s admitting nothing)
Me: Well, I want that.
In all seriousness, I think we should show people we love them all the time, not just on the day that Hallmark made. That’s the secret to long-lasting relationships, be they marriages or even friendships. That, and the fact that you can’t like someone all the time. But, that’s another post.
But…flowers and maybe a something shiny would be nice…I mean, not mandatory, but…
Shiny and sparkly is always nice. Also wine and chocolate.
I’ll go with shiny any day. Or even flowers. He won’t buy wine. He thinks I drink too much *the horrors*. Which I don’t by the way.
“To my friend on Valentine’s Day.” bwahahaha… Man. It’s nice to read about someone whose husband is just so eerily familiar.
Its ok, we can get them other ways. I thought I’d embarrass him on my blog, instead he thought it was funny!
Too funny. Yes, gone our the days when my heart-of-my-hearts (love that!) was trying to woo me
Our Valentine’s Day is now a day to celebrate our family love!
You would never have made it as a shift-workers wife. They are always working nights on holidays giving them plenty of excuses for being too tired to bother with anything at all
There are other bonuses of marriage to a shift worker including never fighting over the remote.
Sending you a virtual fuzzy teddy with balloons…. : D
I got it. And it was cute.
LMAO! “To my friend on Valentines Day.” What a guy! At least he tried though.
I had been hounding my hubby about Valentine’s Day for the past little while. I asked him what he was getting me and he said, “I wish I could get you something.” Code for: I didn’t get you something. But he did surprise me today and had flowers delivered. Wasn’t expecting them at all. Especially when I told him a few times that I didn’t really like flowers because they just die (although I do think receiving flowers is a sweet gesture).
Flowers delivered are the best! Lucky girl.
I was campaigning pretty hard for new earrings but no luck. I did get flowers on the weekend, which I appreciated early because they made for a pretty Valentine’s breakfast table.
Not giving up on my earrings though.
Don’t give up in the earrings. Dont ever give up.
I’m the opposite: I totally do not expect/want hubby to mark the day. He would like to mark the occasion, though, so it kinda works: this allows him to ‘get away’ with ‘just’ a card, maybe flowers or candles. This year I had made a particularly snarky comment about V-Day coming up about a week prior, so the hubs made it a point to wish me a “Happy non-Valentine’s Day” just about every day since then, LoL! And Monday night we went for a “non-v-Day dinner” (his emphasis). My man is awesome
I am told I did well this year. Teddy bear, chocolates, cards, and a mani/pedi that I actualy watched.
safe for anotehr 364
Ok. This is so funny. Did he really give you a Dollar store card with the teddy bear on it, because that is hilarious.
Amazingly enough my husband and I are in synch when it comes to V-day. Neither of us have big expectations about giving or receiving anything other than a card. Really, it’s just an excuse to eat sushi and a little bit of chocolate (which we share with our kids). But that being said, I do kind of miss those wild romantic gestures… but I suppose if I really thought about it I’d have to say I prefer having a lightbulb changer, garbage taker outer and spider killer around the house.
yes, he totally bought that card. Could I even make it up? And, you’re right about true love meaning lightbulb changing garbage taking outing. However, I am the spider killer in our house. He’s a big chicken.