I’m a One Woman Gal. Sort of Like a Gibbon.

Are you a best friend kind of person?  I am.  My whole life I’ve had a best friend.  Not always the same one, but always there’s been that one special person.  Or, as they Meredith and Yang say on Grey’s Anatomy, my person.  I’ve had best friends that were boys, but those don’t seem to last (can men and women really be friends?).

A lot of people have the same person since childhood.  Some just grow apart, and others have had best friend break ups. I’ve had both. But, with my current BFF, now I’m set for life.

My best friend from Grade 1 to Grade 3 was named Lisa.  You can read her book if you want. She lived across the street from me, and we went to the same school.  We did everything together, from playing Mother May I to Barbie Camper.  There was a bump in the road when she and my brother decided to go in the basement and be boyfriend and girlfriend, indulging in a prepubescent game of Playboy Photographer, but we got through it.  We both were devastated when her parents decided to move her family to California.  We exchanged letters for a while, but being that I’m a total procrastinator and also rather forgetful and not the best complier, I forgot to write her back.  Luckily, after stalking her on the internet for months, I found her on Facebook and if we ever see each other face-to-face, well, lets just say, the reunion could prove to be epic.

I had other best friends through the years.  For years after Lisa left, I was tossed between two sisters who were a year apart .  Our school had split grades, so one year I’d be the older one’s friend, the next the younger ones. We stayed friends till high school…but again…my keeping in touch skills being less than stellar, we lost touch.  We’re friends again, but not in the same way.

Throughout High School I had a few very close friends, some whom I spent most of my time with.  But, I had one bestie that ebbed and flowed from age 13 to my 30s.  When we were ON we did nearly everything together.  She was even present at the birth of two of my children.  How did our friendship stall? With her, it wasn’t a lack of staying in touch, but a disagreement that took on a life of its own.  Sometimes, friendship is like the Grand Canyon-so beautiful, but with chasms so deep they can never be repaired.  You may be able to build a superficial bridge out of Facebook Likes and coffee dates, but the distance just grows to great to shorten.

Do I have a Person now?  You betcha!  It took years to find just the right one.

She’s bossy and pushy and fun and stubborn.  She completes me, to the point where sometimes people think we’re sisters, and other times they think we’re each other.  We laugh together. A lot. That is, when she’s not telling me what to do. We have had huge fights-once we didn’t talk for six months.  it was horrible.

Sometimes I want to kill her, or she the same to me.  Mostly I don’t, but she does more often than I do.

We like to lie in her bed or on my couch drinking wine and making fun of people on TV.  My husband isn’t impressed with that particular activity as he doesn’t have a place in the proceedings.

The other night, after sharing a bottle or so of red wine on a school night, I wrote this list:

Why I love my Best Friend

We love all the same foods except I like movie popcorn and soup and she doesn’t.

We just laugh and laugh.  

She makes me go to yoga when I’m too lazy.

Sometimes she leaves her bra or her shoes at my house (don’t ask).

When her daughter marries my son we’ll actually be related.  He likes to be bossed around, just like me, so its perfect.

She has candy at her house.

She loves latino men and as such isn’t trying to steal Robert Downey Jr. from me.

She always sticks up for me, even when I’m wrong.  Then, she still has my back but gives me shit in private.

She makes fun of my husband on my behalf.

She always likes my status on Facebook, even though she doesn’t read my blog.  But, to be fair, its because she doesn’t actually  know how to use a computer.

 

At my advanced grownup-ness, why do I feel the need to have a Bestie, especially since I have a husband?  

My husband is awesome.  He’s there, always when I need him.  But he’s a fixer, not a listener.  He likes to give OPINIONS. He’ll tell me the actual right and wrongness of a situation, even when it’s me who screwed up .  Sometimes that’s not what I want to hear.  Girls listen, they sympathize, they soothe, they write cryptic, passive aggressive posts on Facebook to further your cause when you’ve been wronged.

A husband doesn’t do that.

A husband cannot be a girlfriend.

Life’s got lumps.  What you need is someone to smooth them out.  My friend’s greatest strength, (and occasionally her biggest downfall) is her incredible sense of loyalty.  Since I belong to her, she will go to the ends of the earth for me.   Plus, we have matching Wine Drinking T-shirts.  So, we’re sorta mated for life.  Like Gibbons.

Do you you have a best friend?