If anyone knows where EL James lives, do tell, because my husband would like to send her flowers (WINK).
The problem is, I’m sure she’s got her address unlisted now. Especially since her sexually charged ‘mommy porn’ e-books,50 Shades of Grey, have exploded in popularity. Nearly everyone is reading this trio of horned up Harlequins, which were originally penned as Twilight fan fiction. Notoriety and demand grew to the extent that Vintage Books purchased the publishing rights for a reported 7 figures, and Universal the film rights for $5 million.
The 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy has snuck its way into the e-readers, hearts and libidos of the women (and apparently, now men too) of the world via whispered giggles in Zumba locker rooms, secret book club meetings, and veiled comments on Facebook. But, just like anything to do with sex these days, 50 Shades is now out of the closet, and right smack in the mainstream. I even saw a copy at Costco.
The Books
Basically, 50 Shades is your typical girl meets boy . With the addition of whips and handcuffs. Christian Grey, who is apparently 50 Shades of fucked up (hence the title), sets his sights on innocent virgin Anastasia Steele. He’s into some kinky stuff, and due to his complete and breathtaking gorgeousness, successfully entices an unsure Ana into his BDSM Red sex den of love (after he deflowers her, of course.) There is a storyline accompanying the smut, but its secondary, and possibly even interferes with the hot action.
So, what’s the big deal?
Well, the books are HOT. Like on FIRE hot. They are chockablock full of graphic (and sometimes cringe-worthy word porn mixed in with some plot for legitimacy. The novels are marginally stupid, pretty much unrealistic, and most certainly poorly crafted. But, they’re dirty, sexy, and most certainly kinky. Personally, I’d like to get a look at James’ internet browse history. Oh, the search terms she must have used….
The real attraction is Christian. James has created a character in Christian that women love. Even with his controlling, invasive, borderline creeper behaviour, we still L.O.V.E him. In a fairytale, Beauty and the Beast Ron Jeremy kind of way. In a write letters to prison lifers kind of way. I know that I’m not the only one who couldn’t get Christian Grey out of her head.
Everyone’s got an opinion
I cannot even being to describe the the heated discussions I’ve had on Facebook and Twitter about Fifty Shades of Grey. What a kerfuffle James has stirred up. When it comes to opinions about 50 Shades of Grey, the shackles rise as fast as Christian’s manhood.
If you follow the chatter, you’ll find two rather vehement camps:
We who love the books. We’ll call us the The Inner Goddesses. We turn somersaults, we quiver, we scream out Holy Crap. The inner goddesses love the sex scenes, Christian, and the wickedly twisted true love. We also are seduced by the fast cars, the state of permanent mutual desire, and the riches. The inner Goddesses choose to ignore the Subconscii and their negativity. And, just like we are able to block out the pain of childbirth, we misremember the really gross things that happen between Christian and Ana (like when he pulls out her tampon by the string.)
The Haters. We’ll call those downers The Subconscious’ (subconscii?) They favour Jane Austen novels, knitting, over analyzing, and sour puss facial expressions. The Subconscii think the writing is bad, the characters are stupid and implausible, and that the ideas of dominance set feminism back 100 years. They even go so far as to say *gasp* that the trilogy is boring. The subconscii continually try to show the Inner Goddesses the error of their ways, and are exasperated by the latter’s unwillingness to listen to reason. The subconscii also cannot get past Christians obsessive attention to Ana’s diet, menstrual cycles, and daily activities, and the oddly formal dialogue including the strange use of titles (mr, mrs, miss), by 20 somethings.
My Take
I’m a simple girl. I won’t deny that I’m a bit naive. But, sometimes the naiveté is on purpose; I make a conscious effort to not overthink things. I find that a little bit of lowered standards goes a long way in improving my fun factor.
I love to read. Sometimes I like brain food, and sometimes I like books that are lighter than air. There’s nothing wrong with reading purely for entertainment once in a while. 50 Shades of Grey is a diversion, nothing more, nothing less. Go ahead and pick up a copy. I dare you. My one caveat: make sure you have lots of time. Mr. Christian Grey is best enjoyed in one sitting.
If you like Fabio with a kick, you’ll like 50 Shades of Grey. Or, even if you don’t, you still might. A lot of people do. Like, a lot.
Unputdownable Factor: 2900/10 (I read the trilogy in one sitting. 18 hours of pretty much straight reading. Friday at 4:00 to Saturday at 3 am)
Recommend Factor: yes. Yes. YEs. YES!
Now, if you want to tinkle a bit in your Depends, watch Ellen attempt a reading. PS, I’m not sure what the birdcage is for. If you know, please do tell.
Don’t tell, but sometimes I read bodice-rippers. Does that make me less of an intelligent, independent woman? Hell no…I just like the sizzling scenes.
I NEED TO READ THESE ASAP. Great review
I’m in. Almost bought it 2x so now I have to!
Thanks, Casie. You should totally read, they’re a hoot. I’m thinking of doing a reading
Oh your review is funny! I especially like this quote ” I find that a little bit of lowered standards goes a long way in improving my fun factor.”
My goodness, who wants to go through life like a sourpuss? A varied reading diet is a necessity!
I don’t think enjoying a good dominance kink makes anyone less of an independent woman, and I don’t see the problem with enjoying a bad novel in the interest of fun. So…what if I’m totally willing to overlook the poor plot, stupid characters and bad messages about relationships…but I can’t get past the fact that the sex scenes are absolutely awful and do nothing for me?
These books started as fanfiction, right? I read tons of fanfiction, and there is way better out there, especially in the smut department.
So…that clearly puts me out of the Inner Goddess circle, but probably doesn’t qualify me for the Subconscii either. I’m a woman without a country.
I cannot actually pinpoint what I liked about these books. It’s frustrating. You are so right. The writing is appalling. I don’t read fanfic so I have nothing to compare it too. You seem to be a woman stuck in the middle when it comes to 50. A rare breed. Good to be an original.
50 Shades of Regressed Man-Child is *ruining* as many relationships as it is saving. Know this.
I would hope that people realize that 50 Shades is a book, not real life. But, you’re right, sadly.
Seconding theraisingirl. There is better fanfic. There is also, perhaps more relevantly, much better porn/erotica. It is all free on the internet and not remotely difficult to find. Not only can you find BDSM stuff, if that is what you like, you can find it written by people who actually seem to have interesting and varied sex lives. (It is entirely possible that James has the most awesome sex life on the face of the earth, but it is not reflected in her books. Reading about awesome sex and poorly emulating it, yes. Actual experience, no.)
I find it interesting that you classify the lovers of 50 Shades as “inner goddesses”. Ana’s inner goddess certainly loves the sex, but her reactions to Ana and the rest of the plot are really negative. I think that, were Ana’s inner goddess to come to life, she would almost certainly get satisfy her sexual desires with better writing or, failing that, equivalent writing that she doesn’t want to pay for. If the 50 Shades novels were as “empowering” as some claim, the second two wouldn’t have sold well at all. There is so much better out there (which should be completely unsurprising after actually reading James’s awkward constructions and “trying to impress the teacher by reaching for the thesaurus every sentence or so” vocabulary) and, after the first book, even the most naive have a good idea of what search terms will point them in the right direction.
Hi Lisa, Thanks for your comments. Personally, I’ve never read any other fanfic, so I can’t compare. I completely agree with you that the writing was poor. What I will say, is that whatever we might think or say or 50 Shades, it’s gotten women who don’t read, reading, and women who don’t feel open to talking about sex, talking about it. Maybe you could suggest some other reading for me-I’d be happy to post your suggestions on the site!