Oh crap. I’m just going to spit it out. I think I’m amazing. Stop laughing. It’s true.
I’m fantastic and I know it. You could say that I’m newly conceited. Proud possessor of a swelled head. Full of self-adoration. Possibly a self-stalker.
I’ve been putting off writing this post because I didn’t want anyone to think that I thought too much of myself. Self-love is not socially acceptable. That is unless you’re watching a porno. But then I couldn’t hold my feelings in any longer. I’m throwing caution to the winds. Putting it all on the table, as it were.
You see, I’m a recovering Insecure-niac.
Never heard of Insecure-niacism?
Insecure-niacism: n. a condition where one is full of self-doubt, unsure of one’s value or abilities, or that anyone even likes one (because why would they?) Usually brought on by life experiences including bullies, mean girls, and generalized personality silliness. Symptoms include fishing for compliments, refusal to accept compliments on the basis that they are unfounded, the seeking of approval from others, and denial of insecurities.
Lately, though, I’ve become aware that I’m quite awesome. I’ve found my niche. I’m living the Why The Hell Not List. My dreams of Jewprah are slowly coming true, and I’m pretty sure I have fans after my stellar speaking engagement (ok fine I was on a panel) at ShesConnected 2012 .
I know that it sounds like I’m really high on myself (which I’m pretty sure I am). But, it’s required that I share all of these findings and accomplishments with you as part of the TEN STEPS that form the structure of my Insecure-Niacs Anonymous meetings.
(I’m not naming names or anything, but there are a few celebrities who are also doing the steps…)
I have to tell you, I am really digging being completely self-absorbed. I highly recommend it.
Because I’m generous, and to thank you in advance for going off to tell everyone how great you think I am, here is the 10 Steps to Loving Yourself Program.
- Tell yourself you are really good.
- Tell yourself you’re gorgeous.
- Tell haters to go suck ass.
- Say what you want to say and stick by it.
- Ignore the naysayers.
- Smile a lot. In the mirror.
- Wear your fabulousness like a purple glittery feather boa. Wave it in people’s faces.
- Be proud.
- Know that they’re laughing because they’re jealous.
- Tell everyone. Toot your own horn. If you don’t believe it, they won’t.
By the way, did you know that this song was written about me? I mean, listen to the lyrics.
Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it…
How much do you love me? Seriously! And, more importantly, how much do you love yourself? If the answer is not enough, go do the steps and report back.
I think you’re pretty goddamn great.
And I would know; I’m AMAZING.
I KNEW we had a lot in common!
Yep, you’re awesome and you know it. I’ll try the 10-step program and report back. I’m not nearly as far along in the program as you are. xo
Let me know how the program goes. And maybe Tom will show up at one of your meetings.
I like that – newly conceited. Nice. Oh and hugs because you know I think you are the bomb. Do people still say that? I dunno.
Totally not cool mom, Paula
I’m totally the bomb. And so are you. You’re so cool. And don’t you forget it.
I’m never going to get to sleep now, with that song playing in my head.
Can’t say I’m a recovering Insecure-niacist, or that I’ve even mastered any of those steps except for #4-6. Also could I use an aqua boa?
See? I KNEW this. That’s why I recommended this blog to my blog writing group. Because you are awesome and you know it. Dr. Seuss also said, “You are you, that is truer than true…there is no one who is Youer than you.”
Hey… I think you are pretty great too! I too have a little ways to go on the program BUT I have come a long way. Most days I think I ROCK….some days I think I am pretty OK….I will get there