18 Things That Jews Do at Christmas Time

18 Things Jews Do at Christmas

Have you ever wondered what us Jews do at Christmas time? While you’re spending all your money on presents, hours upon hours decorating and wrapping gifts, moving tiny elves around to get your kids to behave, untangling blinking lights, dressing up as Santa, attending Christmas pageants, watching Christmas TV specials, cranking the Christmas tunes, and getting shickered (that’s yiddish for drunk) on Egg Nog (disgusting) and pieces of broken Christmas cookies (no calories in pieces), do you ever wonder what WE’RE doing?

Well, I’ll tell you what we are NOT doing. We are not spending all of our dollars on presents, wrapping them for hours, moving tiny elves around to get our kids to behave (we use good old guilt instead) untangling blinking lights, dressing up as Santa, attending Christmas pageants, or getting drunk on egg nog (Christmas TV specials and tunes and broken cookies to be addressed below).

So what ARE we doing to keep busy during this glorious holiday season (besides avoiding the mall and being extremely jealous of your pretty tree?)? Here’s what.

18 Things Jews Do at Christmastime

What Do Jews Do at Christmas? Here’s What:

  • We’re secretly singing along to all the Christmas music, even though we’re as sick of it as you are.

bieber xmas gif

  • We’re eating Chinese food on Christmas Eve (although there are so many more options these days, we’re sticking with chop suey and chicken balls. You don’t mess with tradition.)

Thanks to the Jewish People from Chinese Restaurants Everywhere

 

  • We’re watching Charlie Brown’s Christmas because you don’t have to be Christmas-type people to love this particular holiday special more than anything in the whole world.

Charlie Brown Christmas

  • We’re burning up Netflix for all the Christmas movies on offer. We’re watching Elf and Love Actually over and over and over. We’re also watching Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, and all the other Christmas movies ever made. Because we like Christmas movies.

Elf

christmas classics

  • We’re taking advantage of the holiday promotions and sales to buy all kinds of things for ourselves on discount.
source: letsrollforums.com

source: letsrollforums.com

  • We’re going to the biggsest blockbuster movies on Christmas Day, and we’re showing up 5 minutes before the show starts, knowing we don’t have to line-up.

empty movie theatre

  • We’re chuckling at the frenzied last minute shopping. Sometimes we go to the gas station to watch the men look for ‘just the right thing’ at 6:01 on Christmas eve.

Last minute gifts

  • We’re leaving late knowing that there will be no traffic because everyone is buying brie and chocolate at Costco.

no traffic on christmas

  • We’re wearing reindeer headbands and santa hats because you get to so why can’t we?

santa hat reindeer antlers

  • We’re being jealous of your pretty trees and all of your presents, but still glad that we don’t have to deal with all that mess nor clean it up afterwards.

Mrs. Browns Christmas Tree

  • We’re not decorating our houses with thousands of lights, but we do really want that 20 foot blow up Santa on our front lawns.

house with xmas lights

  • We’re enjoying all of the holiday treats, chocolates, cookies and parties, because, hey, why not.

drunk at xmas party

  • We’re loving the two-week break we get from life, and the week leading up to it when it seems everyone is already mentally on vacation.
Source: Teen.com

Source: Teen.com

  • We’re wishing we had Christmas dinner replete with tacky sweaters, family strife, too much food, and cranky children (no, we’re not. We have that at Rosh Hashana, Passover, and pretty much every Friday night. Well, not the sweaters, but everything else.)
tacky christmas sweaters

photo source: thedailygreen.com

  • We’re happily participating in the the workplace Secret Santa knowing that it’s the only gift we’re getting.

Source: Cafepress.com

Source: Cafepress.com

  • We’re confused how underpants and socks are a good stocking present.

christmas stocking

  • We’re wondering how all the parents get their kids to believe in the improbability of Santa Claus, and where we can get some of that.

there is no santa

  • We’re spending hours explaining to our young children why they can be as naughty or nice as they want, and Santa is STILL not going to come down the chimney.

santa-he-sees-you-when-youre-sleeping-christmas-humor

MOST OF ALL, We’re loving the spirit of generosity and giving that seems to pervade everything, everywhere. It’s so jolly. AND SO, We’re wishing you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HO, HO, HO. Send candy canes.

What to Say if Someone Wishes You a Merry Christmas

 

What to Say if Someone Wishes You a Merry Christmas

 

 

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