When I was a teenager, I had this silly idea in my head that I wanted to be married by the time I was 25, and have my kids by the time I was 30. That was the plan.
When I was 14, I went on a double date with my then-boyfriend and his friend and the friend’s girlfriend. Needless to say, not only was my relationship shortlived, but I thought his friend was a jerk. When I was 22, I met the jerk again, and when I was 24, I married him. Now I love him forever, even though we drive each other crazy. However, since I’m a total scatterbrained procrastinator, if I didn’t have him I’d probably been in debtor’s prison.
Born to Mommy: When I was 25 and 3/4 The Diva was born. She looked like Betty Boop as a toddler, but now she’s just gorgeous and talented and amazing. And permanently premenstrual. She was born two weeks before my 1st anniversary. People asked if she was a honeymoon baby. Obviously they never took sex-ed.
On her first birthday, I conceived Bubba. My boy flew out in two hours with the biggest ears you’ve ever seen, but has been chillaxing ever since. He’s so sweet, I could swear he’s a reincarnation of my Grandpa Sam. The first two are 21 months apart and have been best friends since day one. It melts my heart to see them together.
Tempting Fate: Our perfect little family didn’t feel complete, so I nagged my husband (call him Big J, but not for jerk) for another baby. When I was 30 and 11 months, I had my 3rd child, Little J. Since he started crawling at 4 months, that boy has tried my very patience, and is lucky he’s so cute, or else things may have ended differently. He’s got ADHD and is in the 100th percentile for gifted. He make my world complete when he hugs me.
After I had little J I remembered that 16 year old’s plan. That was the only time a plan of mine ever worked out.
On Being a Family: I have a unique parenting style that includes complete disclosure, a no-lying and whine-free zone, and arguing openly in front of the kids. I also like to give the kids enough rope to hang themselves, hoping they’ll learn from their experiences. If they didn’t learn their lesson, I lecture them until they get it.
Farther Back Even: When I was 1.5, my parents divorced. Before they divorced, they had me and my brother. When I was 12, my Big Daddy and his second wife divorced. Before they divorced, they had my three sisters. When I was 26, my mom and my stepfather divorced. Before they divorced, they had my younger brother and sister. My mother is re-married. My kids have 4 grandfathers and 3 grandmothers. Are you confused?
I have six siblings. We’re all very unique people:
100% Brother 1 year older (bro1); Half-sister: 5 yrs younger(sis1); Half Brother: 6 yrs younger (bro2); Half-sister: 7 years younger (sis2) Half-sisters #4 & 5: 8 years younger (not twins, different mothers) (sis3, and sis4)
Oh yeah. I have 19 nieces and nephews. Don’t ask me to remember your birthday. Its not happening.
I am the matriarch, the mommy, the peace-maker and the trouble-maker. I am a chatterbox, a big-mouth, and opinionated. I’m also overly-sensitive, a little self-conscious, and way insecure.
My new found inner strength resides in this phrase: Be Nice or Leave.