If anyone knows where EL James lives, do tell, because my husband would like to send her flowers (WINK).
The problem is, I’m sure she’s got her address unlisted now. Especially since her sexually charged ‘mommy porn’ e-books,50 Shades of Grey, have exploded in popularity. Nearly everyone is reading this trio of horned up Harlequins, which were originally penned as Twilight fan fiction. Notoriety and demand grew to the extent that Vintage Books purchased the publishing rights for a reported 7 figures, and Universal the film rights for $5 million.
The 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy has snuck its way into the e-readers, hearts and libidos of the women (and apparently, now men too) of the world via whispered giggles in Zumba locker rooms, secret book club meetings, and veiled comments on Facebook. But, just like anything to do with sex these days, 50 Shades is now out of the closet, and right smack in the mainstream. I even saw a copy at Costco.
Basically, 50 Shades is your typical girl meets boy . With the addition of whips and handcuffs. Christian Grey, who is apparently 50 Shades of fucked up (hence the title), sets his sights on innocent virgin Anastasia Steele. He’s into some kinky stuff, and due to his complete and breathtaking gorgeousness, successfully entices an unsure Ana into his BDSM Red sex den of love (after he deflowers her, of course.) There is a storyline accompanying the smut, but its secondary, and possibly even interferes with the hot action.
So, what’s the big deal?
Well, the books are HOT. Like on FIRE hot. They are chockablock full of graphic (and sometimes cringe-worthy word porn mixed in with some plot for legitimacy. The novels are marginally stupid, pretty much unrealistic, and most certainly poorly crafted. But, they’re dirty, sexy, and most certainly kinky. Personally, I’d like to get a look at James’ internet browse history. Oh, the search terms she must have used….
The real attraction is Christian. James has created a character in Christian that women love. Even with his controlling, invasive, borderline creeper behaviour, we still L.O.V.E him. In a fairytale, Beauty and the Beast Ron Jeremy kind of way. In a write letters to prison lifers kind of way. I know that I’m not the only one who couldn’t get Christian Grey out of her head.
Everyone’s got an opinion
I cannot even being to describe the the heated discussions I’ve had on Facebook and Twitter about Fifty Shades of Grey. What a kerfuffle James has stirred up. When it comes to opinions about 50 Shades of Grey, the shackles rise as fast as Christian’s manhood.
If you follow the chatter, you’ll find two rather vehement camps:
We who love the books. We’ll call us the The Inner Goddesses. We turn somersaults, we quiver, we scream out Holy Crap. The inner goddesses love the sex scenes, Christian, and the wickedly twisted true love. We also are seduced by the fast cars, the state of permanent mutual desire, and the riches. The inner Goddesses choose to ignore the Subconscii and their negativity. And, just like we are able to block out the pain of childbirth, we misremember the really gross things that happen between Christian and Ana (like when he pulls out her tampon by the string.)
The Haters. We’ll call those downers The Subconscious’ (subconscii?) They favour Jane Austen novels, knitting, over analyzing, and sour puss facial expressions. The Subconscii think the writing is bad, the characters are stupid and implausible, and that the ideas of dominance set feminism back 100 years. They even go so far as to say *gasp* that the trilogy is boring. The subconscii continually try to show the Inner Goddesses the error of their ways, and are exasperated by the latter’s unwillingness to listen to reason. The subconscii also cannot get past Christians obsessive attention to Ana’s diet, menstrual cycles, and daily activities, and the oddly formal dialogue including the strange use of titles (mr, mrs, miss), by 20 somethings.
I’m a simple girl. I won’t deny that I’m a bit naive. But, sometimes the naiveté is on purpose; I make a conscious effort to not overthink things. I find that a little bit of lowered standards goes a long way in improving my fun factor.
I love to read. Sometimes I like brain food, and sometimes I like books that are lighter than air. There’s nothing wrong with reading purely for entertainment once in a while. 50 Shades of Grey is a diversion, nothing more, nothing less. Go ahead and pick up a copy. I dare you. My one caveat: make sure you have lots of time. Mr. Christian Grey is best enjoyed in one sitting.
If you like Fabio with a kick, you’ll like 50 Shades of Grey. Or, even if you don’t, you still might. A lot of people do. Like, a lot.
Unputdownable Factor: 2900/10 (I read the trilogy in one sitting. 18 hours of pretty much straight reading. Friday at 4:00 to Saturday at 3 am)
Recommend Factor: yes. Yes. YEs. YES!
Now, if you want to tinkle a bit in your Depends, watch Ellen attempt a reading. PS, I’m not sure what the birdcage is for. If you know, please do tell.