Instead of being a domestic goddess, I’ve become a NAG-erina. Instead of being the mom-about-town career woman, I’ve become a slave to a team of moderately grateful humans and canines. An invisible shadow of competence and cleanliness is what I seem to be, more of a housework fairy and invisible dish stacking demon than smiling Empress of the Apron. What the heck, you ask? This is so out of character! But, since I became the BEST SISTER IN THE WORLD I have had to somehow overcome my housework allergy and jump in to Operation Housewife with both feet plus the rest of me.
I can safely say, after two weeks of humungous messes left by 2 am snacks, egg dried on frying pans, and what seems like 9000 loads of dirty laundry (I reiterate, how many towels can five people actually go through?), that I am ready to UNSPOIL my family (commonly known to regular people as doing your part or helping out).
The first step in the process was the creation of my House Rules (can you see the eponymous Be Nice or Leave magnet at the top?) written on my kitchen white board.
- These House Rules are neither fixed, nor exhaustive, and will certainly change with time.
- While some of the items seemed obvious (such as the fact that dishes do not in fact have the magical powers necessary to place themselves in the dishwasher), I am bound to restating them so there can be no ambiguity.
- These House Rules are intended to remind you that I am not your slave, but rather the Queen of your Worlds.
- I really don’t care if you make your beds, since I never make mine (see, at least I’m not a hypocrite).
- You people who live in my house mayn’t think I’m serious, but you’ll see when you have no underpants or clean plates.
- The ‘Chores’ category is suitably vague as my needs for assistance may vary from day-t0-day.
- Assisting me does not include starting projects that make even bigger messes and then not finishing them (such as this mess left by the Father-of-my-Children who decided to clean out the junk cupboard in the kitchen but then got distracted for 2 weeks)
I’m sure that once the Unspoiling begins to take effect, the whole household will be a lot happier. Especially me. Which is all that really matters, right?
PS: As you can see, I collect witty magnets. Please feel free to send me any that you happen upon.