It WAS a NaNoWriMo Beat Down.

December 1, 2011 By

I'm a Winner

I’m BAAAAACCK.  Having triumphed against my internal start/stopper, which I now know is more of a naysayer and or avoider of large projects so that I don’t fail at them.  What am I talking about?  I have COMPLETED NaNoWriMo.  I wrote 52,043 words in 29 days.  Not only did I finish, but I completed the project early, although there was a little bit of ongoing procrastination and I wrote 13,000 words in the last three days.

There were naysayers, such as my lovely husband who said things like, ‘I can’t wait until this thing is over so that you stop tip tapping on that macbook till all hours.I’m tired.’  And ‘Can you remind me why you’re doing this?’  And, ‘Wouldn’t I look like an idiot if someone actually published your book?’

Obviously, my sons parroted his negativity with comments such as, ‘Why are you doing this?’  ’Can you stop typing and feed me?’, and my favourite, ‘That book thing is dumb.’

Lastly, my daughter didn’t even seem to notice I was doing NaNoWriMo, which I count as a blessing, considering the other responses I got.  (My dogs really liked NaNoWriMo as they liked to cuddle on me while I was sitting still for so long)

I want to make it clear that I DON’T CARE what they say.  I am so DAMN proud of myself.  I have a box of first chapters of books in my basement as well as some notebooks upstairs containing similar material.  I have never ever ever done something so large, so great, so amazing before (other than getting married, having kids etc.).  While I tired of answering the multiple ‘BUT WHYS‘ of my reasons for participating in this challenge, I DON’T CARE (did I say that?).

My friends, both virtual and in life, loved the idea of me writing a book,and were very supportive:

Some of my NaNoWriMo supporters

although my very best friend wanted to know why I wasn’t just writing about her. She DOES have an interesting life.  I have a line-up of readers who want to see what I wrote, including the person who inspired the story.  I want to thank Kristin Klasbergen, who blogs at Peace, Love, and Muesli for seriously getting me through this.  I would totally have quit if it wasn’t for her.

Now, I will interview myself about the book, since of course my goal is to be Jewprah:

Jewprah:  So, can you tell us about your NaNoWriMo book?

Mara: My book is called, ‘Love in the Time of Twitter’, and its about Isabelle and Ted who meet through a Twitter follow-friday.  The book has some quirky characters and incorporates some of my romantic fantasies like being surprised by my one true love, who happens to be rich, with a beautiful mansion complete with a Kardashian-style closet. There’s one major love scene, but I sort of chickened out when it got past 2nd base.  I got a bit serious at the end as well, so major editing is required.

Jewprah:  What kinds of challenges did you face when writing?

Mara:  Well, I had trouble remembering the characters names and any details about them. Maybe it’s because I let the words just flow without any preparation. Plus, I always have trouble with names, and it seems even those in my own head were also hard to recall.   There are some continuity problems in the book that will need to be fixed, such as the names, tone, tense, and voice.  I sometimes struggled with actually getting down to the writing, although, when I did it, the words just flowed.  The other thing that was hard was always being funny.  The book is supposed to be a quirky, humorous tale, but the last bit got a bit serious.

Jewprah:  What’s your process?  Do you do any planning?

Mara:  I only knew the title and the premise.  I didn’t plan at all, and it seemed that the characters took over the story. Stuff happened that I didn’t plan on, and that was sort of fun because as I was writing, the scenes just developed themselves.  It was all news to me!

Jewprah:  So, what’s next?

Mara:  Well, I might avoid the book for a while.  I’d love someone who is in the know to actually read it and let me know if its worth editing and fleshing out to a full novel. Once whoever that is tells me how amazing I am, I plan on taking my advance and going to Ireland to meet Maeve Binchy

Jewprah:  Well, you look like you’re itching to get out of here. Where are you off to?

Mara:  Well, for the first time in a month, I’M NOT WRITING A NOVEL! That’s for sure!

 

 

Filed Under: Humour, Life, NaNoWriMo Tagged With: , , , , ,

When its the Parents that Need Grounding

November 16, 2011 By

We had an AMAZING dinner conversation the other night.  Its curious what types of conversations spaghetti with turkey meat sauce will bring out in my weird family.  Somehow, we got to talking about my NaNoWriMo.

Diva:  What’s this NaNoWriMo?

Big J:  Yeah. What is it exactly?  (Now, two weeks in, he should know what it is. I mean, since I’m the Queen of his world, shouldn’t he remember EVERYTHING I tell him?)

Bubba:  She’s writing a book. (my son remembers everything I tell him.  He gets my millions when I die.)

Diva: But, what’s it for?  Why are you doing it? (She tends to only do things that have intrinsic value-for her)

Big J:  Yah. Is there a prize? Like money? (I’m just a cash machine in his eyes)

Me:  It’s like a writing exercise.  To start a big project and …

Big J: So, there’s no PURPOSE TO IT.  Like, if you aren’t getting anything..

Me:  The purpose is the self-satisfaction of doing it. (husband rolls his eyes and shovels a mouthful of food in)

Diva: What’s your book about?

Bubba:  Its about two people who fall in love on Twitter.  And there’s a quirky neighbour.  (Young girls, I’ve raised a future good husband. This boy really listens!)

Diva:  (rolls her eyes. Obviously, we know where she gets that from) Twitter?

Me:  I had to write about something I knew.  I was too lazy to do research. (And, I know Twitter.  Follow me @chickymara)

Diva:  How old are the characters?

Me:  She’s 32 and he’s 35.

Diva:  Why’d you make them so OLD?

Me:  Well, I don’t know anything about 25 year olds…(except that if I were to dump my husband due to him not listening to me, I’d totally date one)

Big J:  Little J is going to write a book called ‘Larry Trotter’. Its about a mortal boy who lives with wizards.

We all roll our eyes now.  Little J keeps stuffing his face with spaghetti.

Big J:  Do you get it?  Larry Trotter…Like…

All of us:  Yes, we get it!!  It’s just not funny because you’ve said it 100 times.

Big J:  Fine.  He should write a book called the Da Vinci Load.  (He laughs at himself, thinking he’s hysterical)

Little J:  (finally looks up for air)  The Da Vinci Load?  You want me to write a book about Da Vinci’s poop?

We all look at each other.  It’s silent.  The older kids raise their eyebrows.

Me:  I don’t think that’s what Dad means by LOAD…

Bubba blushes.  Diva sits there, completely stunned.  Little J doesn’t even get it.  And..

Big J:  Mara!! You’re completely filthy.  I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!

And that’s how I said something really inappropriate to my 12 year old at dinner.

AfterWord

Once we were done eating, my husband got up, and stuck a giant butternut squash in his t-shirt and said, ‘Look kids, its Mom.’  When he didn’t get a reaction, he stuck it down his pants and danced around.

Inappropriate uses for butternut squash

I’d like to know, who’s the more inappropriate one here.

Filed Under: Family, Humour, Kids, Life Tagged With: , , , , , ,

I’m WRITING! I SWEAR!

November 3, 2011 By
I’m WRITING! I SWEAR! (image source www.writerunboxed.com)

In the vein of my friend Lynn at AllFooked up, I’m going to provide you a list of everything that I’m doing and thinking about other than writing my 1700 words for NaNoWriMo.

  • Maybe I should go get the mail. There may be some important mail in the mailbox, you never know. For example, a large cash prize, a letter from the government explaining I wasn’t really born in Canada, or even a card advertising my dream home.
  • I should eat something. Its always better to write on an full stomach. Or is it an empty stomach. A full stomach makes you feel sedentary, but an empty stomach drives you to push yourself to excellence.  Look at how lean the lead actor in the movie ‘The Gods Must be Crazy’ was. He certainly achieved.
  • My dogs are cute. Look at their cute faces. They are so cute I should kiss them. Then, since they are so cute, I should run around with them. And talk baby talk to them. Because, they totally understand me.  I should probably make videos of me talking to my dogs and them understanding me.  On the other hand, people might take my kids away if I do that.
  • I think my NaNo novel characters have taken over the story. I hate being told what to do.  I think they need a time out, so maybe I should write later.
  • Yoga would help me think.
  • There’s a tweet again.  It may be very important if someone is tweeting me right now. Missing that tweet could change my life forever. So I’d better go check and see who it is.  Oh, its a spammer. Wait, there it goes again. It could be a friend in need.  Of my witticisms.  Laughter is the best medicine, or so they say.
  • NOW my email bleeped.  Usually I get just junk emails.  But, what if this time its important.  Like, for example, a member of the former Russian aristocracy who REALLY requires my most excellence servicing, and will pay me $15 million as long as I provide my bank account number, my date of birth, my address, and my shoe size.
  • That dog is really cute. But he’s so dumb. He’s trying to get food by scratching at a 6 pack of beer.  Have the kids been giving the dog beer again?  I’d better go text them and make sure they didn’t.
  • Young and the Restless really needs to have me guest star. I’d make a great prison inmate. I look so good in orange. And Sharon looked so good after her prison makeover. Really, she never looked better.  Oh wait, she’s out of jail.  But she gets to choose between hot veterinarian, Dr. Sam, gorgeous but evil Adam, and of course, Nick.  And what about Ronen.  I’d totally dump my husband for him.  But he would need to stop disappearing. Except my MIL would be Nina. Ewwww.
  • I should go to yoga later.  Or maybe now. Yoga is good for you. But not too much.  Yesterday, when I was ‘researching’ for my novel, I happened upon an article that says too much of anything isn’t good for you.  So, maybe I shouldn’t go to yoga. We’ll see.
  • Facebook is very interesting today.  A lot of people are posting videos, and it would be rude not to watch them and then comment.  Oh…wait..my sister put up a blog post. One MUST support one’s sister in her pursuit of bloggy excellence, right?
  • Have I showered yet?
  • What’s for dinner?
  • What if my sister’s nanny doesn’t come and I have to give her my nanny who I don’t actually need but I want, and then I have a relapse of my housework allergy whose symptoms are me being a TOTAL BITCH.  I hate acting like that, but it’s not my fault. Its an allergy.

In no way can this list be considered procrastination.  I totally and legitimately have important things to think about.  As well, I totally and legitimately am working to overcome my START/STOP impulse as well as my fear of rejection, insurmountable obstacles, and small spaces.

Note from the Editor:  Chicky has been spanked at sent right to Scrivener to start her words.  Stop TWEETING her. OR ELSE!!

Filed Under: Humour, Life, NaNoWriMo Tagged With: , , , , ,

Seeing The Forest for the NanoWriMo

November 1, 2011 By

Can't See the Forest For the Trees (image source: www.summitpost.org)

According to dictionary.com, the expression  ‘can’t see the forest for the trees’ means someone who is too involved in the details of a problem to look at the situation as a whole.

Today I’m feeling the reverse.  As the time to begin NaNoWriMo is upon me.  (was upon me 8 hrs and 50 minutes ago, to be exact).  I realize that I have focused way to much on the big picture.

‘Picture? ‘You ask, ‘I thought NaNoWriMo was about writing a novel.’ ( I guess I am a novelist, as I’m putting words in your mouth…)

‘Its a metaphor’ I respond. ‘For my lack of preparedness.  I got so excited to write the dang thing and become a novelist that I forgot I HAD TO WRITE THE GODDAMMED WORDS EVERYDAY. LIKE EVERYDAY. LIKE 1700 OF THEM.

I was all about the signing up for the project. Making it public. Starting a twitter hashtag (follow along at #nanobliss), and encouraging others to write their novels too.  The 50,000 words over 30 days didn’t seem like a big deal. Its was a nice round number.  I was looking at the forest from the satellite view of Google Maps.

Then, I woke up this morning and thought,

‘Oh crap. crap crap crap crap crap crap.I have to write some of those words TODAY. Like NOW.  I told EVERYONE. And there’s a deadline. And I have to write the thing.’

My supposed ‘support group’ on Twitter started pressuring me.

That one totally freaked me out.

How about this one?

How rude. With that, she was just trying to make me feel bad.

The self-doubt started to wash all over me.  The Start-Stopper was taking over.  The Start-Stopper is a very strong influence.  But then, I thought about what I want out of life,  and how Sharon DeVellis has started Speed Skating, which is Holy Mother of Coffee scary if you ask me.

And how Sharon’s Speed Skating metaphor is about starting to zoom in on that forest and start looking at the trees (actually that’s my metaphor. She doesn’t have a metaphor. She is literally speed skating because she really wanted to and it scared the shit out of her).

About how when you only look at the forest, you get so excited about big the forest is, and how great your plans are, but then if you don’t look at each tree individually, and how its going to grow, and how you’re going to water it…etc etc.. then the trees will die and there will be no more forest.

Sharon goes to her Speedskating and just speeds skates. And doesn’t worry about winning the Olympics or being Queen of Speedskating, or getting rich from endorsement deals, she just skates. She looks at the trees.

Today, I’m going to start looking at the trees.  Instead of JUST focusing on my goal, and who’s going to star in the movie of my invisible novel (Robert Downey Jr.), and how many pairs of UGGs and Lululemons I’m going to buy with all the money, I’m going to actually figure out how I’m going to get there;  the doing it.

THIS IS MY TREE:   I’m going to write 1700 words every day before 4:00, until and by November 30.  

(30 days has September, April, June and November.  All the rest have 31 except for February, which has 27 and on occasion, like this year, 28.  Are you telling me you don’t recite that every time you need to figure out how many days are in a month?)

Hopefully those words will coalesce into something coherent. Or else, after I submit, and get my ‘Winner’s Certificate’. I’ll hit the delete button and start over.

In other news, but related to the forest, ITS MOVEMBER.  Since I can’t grow a moustache (THANK GOD AND MY GOOD GENES), I will be supporting the cause by growing my leg hairs as part of Noshember (No Shave November).

Let’s hope it gets long enough for braids & some beads because that would be pretty.

Noshember (No Shave November) in support of Movember

Filed Under: Humour, Life, NaNoWriMo Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

NaNoWriMo: It’s a Slacker Beat Down!

October 31, 2011 By

Today is Halloween. Everybody else is writing a nice Halloween post. However, since its already 2:30, its a bit late for a Halloween post.  Plus, I’d be a bit of an imposter if I wrote a Halloween post since:

a) I don’t have a pumpkin yet

b) there’s a slim to none chance I will be getting a pumpkin since trick or treating starts in 4 hrs.

c) my kids have abandoned me to teen-dom and either aren’t dressing up or have forbidden my husband to follow them (‘them’ being my 12 year old) around while ‘they’ trick our treat with ‘their’ friends (‘following’ being hiding behind bushes and generally stalking in a not-creepy however appearing extremely creepy sort of way)

This pumpkin-less situation brings me to the actual reason for my post.

I know it’s shocking news, but I’m a procrastinator.  In other words, I’m a do-it-later-er.  As in ‘why do it now, when you can do it later?’  Sometimes, when I can’t decide if I want to do it now, I let my car decide if its going to turn, and therefore do it now.  For example, I guess my car didn’t want a pumpkin as it didn’t turn into a lot to buy one.   Seriously, the pumpkin, or  lack thereof is an inelegant segue/metaphor into my newest attempt to crush the procrastination demon and turn myself into a time maximizing whirlwind of activity. (Chances of that happening?  Well, I’m not good at math, but I wouldn’t want to take the book on that wager…)  Anyways, I’m totally into self-improvement, plus, I’ve also got another major character flaw, totally related to the procrastination beast, called the ‘start-stopper’.  I have many great intentions, but large projects or new activities tend to beat me down, and then I just avoid them.  For more on my failings, look here.

Which brings me to….the badge at the top of this blog.  Maybe you know what it is, maybe you don’t.  What it means is that I’m participating in NaNoWriMo.    Its a Writing Festival. A Writing-a-Thon.  A Writing Bonanza.  In honour of National Writing Month, basically you write a 50,000 word ‘novel’ or chunk of one in 30 days.  That’s approximately 1,700 words per day. That’s a lot of writing.  Every day.  And it’s public. My name is on their website, with a WORD COUNT.  And now, I’ve written it here too. On my happy place. That means I have have to do it. Right?

Did I say that I’m taking on a HUGE commitment to write FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS IN THIRTY DAYS. What a way to tame the procrastinator start-stopper beast!

Its a known fact amongst those who know me that I’ve always wanted to be a writer. There’s a book stuck in my sternum. So far, pieces of 500-700 words have been just the right length for me. The shoebox full of Chapter Unos is a testament to that fact, as well as to the character flaws as clearly outlined above.  NaNoWriMo is how I’m having a SLACKER / PROCRASTINATOR / START_STOPPER BEAT DOWN.

Apparently, a beat down that involves a lot of words.  DID I SAY FIFTY THOUSAND WORDS?

Cuz, ya know what they say…GO BIG OR GO HOME.

Stay tuned for periodic whiny posts about my project. (If you want to stalk me on the NaNoWriMo website, my user name is ChickyMara)

ps, apparently it was advised that I write a outline and notes, as well as doing research to facilitate the 50,000 words to be written in 30 days.  Do you think I did that?

Filed Under: Humour, Life, NaNoWriMo, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , ,