Today is the un-Valentines Day for me, otherwise known as Singles Awareness Day (S.A.D), or in my husband’s mind, ‘Just a regular day to nap with Space Channel in the background’.

According to UrbanDictionary.com:

February 14th: the day that every single man realizes “Damn, I forgot to get a girlfriend.” Usually the wiser of the men realize this days ahead based on the many pink and red hearts and fluffy overpriced things found as they go to purchase their beer, or perhaps whilst sitting on the couch enjoying the rerun of ‘Independence Day’ realizing that every other television advertisement contains the word ‘love’ or a suggestion to the holiday most refer to as “Valentine’s day.

How Valentines Day (S.A.D.) plays out in my house:

Weeks before…

Me: so, dear, love of my life, soulmate, heart-of-my-hearts, what are you getting me for Valentine’s Day?

Him: (grunt) Huh? Nothing. Why?

Me: No reason

Days Before….

Me: So, husband-of-19 years, changer of lightbulbs, putter inner of windshield washer fluid, long-suffering designated driver, what are we doing for Valentine’s Day?

Him: (grunt) Huh? Nothing. Why?

Me: no reason.

The day before Valentine’s Day.

Me: so, sperm donor, do I at least get a card and chocolate, maybe some flowers?

Him: (looks up from a Motorcycle magazine aka man-porn) If I get you chocolates you’ll complain for weeks that you shouldn’t have eaten them and then you’ll be mad at me.

Me: True. What about the other two?

Him: If I get you flowers, they’ll die. They’re a waste of money.

Me: Not true, faulty argument. But go on.

Him: If I buy you a card, all I’ll write in it is ‘Love Jack’ and then you’ll complain I’m not sensitive enough and don’t share my feelings.

Me: (thinking) Well, that is partially true, although I do usually give you props for trying. Even when you buy me cards that reference my bosoms, include language like ‘Humena Humena’ and have pictures of monkeys winking lasciviously, I truly appreciate the effort. Really, the only time I actually complained was when you got me a card from the Dollar Store with a Teddy bear holding balloons on it and reading, ‘To my friend on Valentines Day.’ You did not get any points for that one.

Him: I told you, I didn’t have my glasses. It looked cute all blurry. At least I got you a card…

Me: (Rolling my eyes) Remember the days when you’d meet me at the airport with a huge bouquet of flowers? And the time you got me diamond earrings for Valentines Day? And also when I was at work and you sent a cookie-gram, flowers, and balloons?

Him: (grimacing, and probably remembering what a sucker he was in the courting phase) I think so. (of course he’s admitting nothing)

Me: Well, I want that.

In all seriousness, I think we should show people we love them all the time, not just on the day that Hallmark made. That’s the secret to long-lasting relationships, be they marriages or even friendships. That, and the fact that you can’t like someone all the time. But, that’s another post.

But…flowers and maybe a something shiny would be nice…I mean, not mandatory, but…